million_star | Seventeen Steps - Three Keys (One/?)

Title: Seventeen Steps - Three Keys (One/?)
Author:

millionstar
Pairing: Belldom, AU
Rating: This chapter, PG
Warnings: Angst
Summary: Sequel. A look at the SS universe, set a few years down the road as the boys take the biggest step of all.
Feedback: Is appreciated if you're so inclined. Either way, just enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Matt or Dom, no $$ is being made and this is fiction.
Beta/Support: As always,

dolce_piccante,

myz_bee, &

frisky_biscuit. Thank you. <3
Author's Note: I don't know if anyone even remembers this; I apologize for the massive delay between prologue/chapter one.

Prologue

Curled up on his side, Matthew stared at the wall blankly, still hugging his pillow tightly as Dominic began to stir behind him. A faint smile graced his thin lips for a beat; he could picture the blond stretching and he actually was prepared for the warm hand to slide around his waist when it did. Dominic's morning routine was set in stone, so much so that Matthew's pulse quickened in anticipation of what always came next.

"Morning," Dominic whispered, pressing his lips against the nape of the brunet's neck. He tightened his grip on Matthew's waist and sighed deeply into dark hair.

"Morning, babe," Matthew replied. He took a deep breath and rolled over, turning into the blond's arms.

"I love you."

Matthew looked up, surprised. "What was that for?"

"Just because it's true."

"Well," the brunet replied, nuzzling noses with Dominic, "I love you more."

"Do not."

"Do too."

Dominic gifted Matthew with the sleepiest, sexiest grin he'd ever seen. "Do. Fucking. Not."

"Do," Matthew's mouth kissed along the blond's jawline, "fucking. Too." After a few stolen kisses they settled against each other.

"I hate that we fought again, but....thank you for last night," Dominic commented quietly, gifting Matthew's shoulder with a kiss, "you've made me so happy. How about I make dinner reservations for us Friday night? In the meantime I'll look into some local adoption agencies to see what our options are." Matthew squeezed his eyes shut and steeled himself to remain calm. He berated himself silently; the promise he made to Dominic in the heat of the moment last night was one that he wasn't certain he could keep. Thankful that he was currently the little spoon and that Dominic couldn't read his face, he nodded, his expression blank.

"Okay."

Dominic squeezed him harder, Matthew able to feel the blond's grin against his neck. "Oh, Matthew, I'm so excited. I love you so much!" Their bed shook with happy laughter that was Dominic's and Dominic's alone. Matthew pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.

You can do this. You can do this.

For Dominic.

You have to try.

Forcing a smile onto his face he turned in the blond's arms, Dominic kissing all over his face until Matthew began to laugh as well. His heart close to bursting with love and warmth, Dominic framed Matthew's face with his hands and kissed him deeply. Matthew's arms wound around the blond's midsection, staring into grey eyes that were positively radiating light.

"You won't regret it," Dominic whispered. "I promise you that." With that proclamation, the still-grinning blond hopped up and reached for his robe. "It's my turn to make breakfast, so pancakes it is! Be back in a flash!"

"Dom," Matthew called after him, "take your time, I'm gonna take a quick shower, okay?"

"Okay, babe!"

Matthew had come to learn that the floor of their shower was the one place Dominic couldn't hear him crying.

* * * *

"What do you mean he won't discuss it?"

Paige frowned as she placed a cup of coffee in front of her brother, who was currently sitting with his shoulders slouched at her kitchen table. She sat down across from him and sipped her bottle of water while pushing her long blond hair from her eyes.

Dominic dragged his hand across his face wearily. "I mean he won't discuss it. Every time I try to talk to him about it he freezes me out."

"Do I need to come kick his arse?"

"Paige!"

"I'll do it, you know," she answered calmly, her eyes never leaving her brother's worried face. She wasn't used to seeing Dominic looking so unhappy; she didn't like it one bit. It baffled her that Dominic and Matthew weren't seeing eye to eye on this particular matter. Despite the fact that she was aware this had been going on for a couple of months, she'd merely kept quiet, assuming that they would be able to work things out in the end. But she wasn't about to stand by much longer; there were only so many times she could bear to see her brother looking so down. "I can't understand what's going on in that gorgeous mind of his."

"We came to an understanding a few days ago, finally. We're supposed to go out Friday night for dinner and talk about it in depth; he promised me that we would. I just... I don't like it when we disagree and this is a pretty big thing to disagree on. I'm sure it'll be okay in the end, but believe me if your arse-kicking skills are needed, I'll let you know."

"I just don't like seeing you upset, Dom," Paige said, reaching across the table to take his hand.

He smiled ruefully at his twin, nodding his head. "Thanks."

"I love you. That's why what I have to say next is probably going to be difficult to hear."

Dominic's eyes widened in confusion. "What?"

"Try not to panic, okay?"

"Paige!? What's happened?"

"That coffee you're drinking," Paige gestured to the cup in front of him, "it's... it's... decaf."

His mouth dropped open in shock, one hand fanning himself dramatically. "I-I had no idea. This is... all so new and scary."

"Be strong, Dom, and we'll get through it together." She squeezed his hand, the two of them breaking down in silly giggles. Despite her teasing, Dominic got the message: no matter what happened, Paige would always be there for him.

* * * *

Friday afternoon Matthew dropped in at Chris' house in search of... well, he wasn't quite sure what he was looking for. No, that wasn't exactly true, he knew precisely what he was looking for and he hoped he could find it here with his oldest friend. Chris was in the kitchen, staring in a confused fashion at the kitchen appliance that he'd just taken apart. He welcomed Matthew in, and offered him a cup of coffee. Chris eyeballed his friend now and then, fully aware that something wasn't right with Matthew today.

"What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing's wrong. Why?"

Chris crossed his arms, cocking one eyebrow in Matthew's direction. "Why are you biting your fingernails?"

"I'm not," Matthew answered nervously, removing his thumbnail from his mouth and sitting on both of his hands.

"Right. Well, then, why on earth would you be here with me, watching me fail at repairing this toaster overn when it's Dominic's day off? You two are usually inseparable. Hell, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go with me to pick up a delivery for Kells tonight, it's a two hour ride to the greenhouse, didn't fancy going alone."

"When are you going?"

"I need to leave in about thirty minutes, actually."

"I'll go with you."

Chris dropped his screwdriver. "You don't have plans tonight?"

"Nothing that can't be rescheduled," Matthew replied, sipping his coffee and offering a silent apology to his partner. He was ashamed of what he was about to do, yet he fully intended to follow through with it. The fear of what he would have to face tonight outweighed whatever Dominic's reaction might be to Matthew not showing up. Dominic would understand; he'd realize that this was something that Matthew just wasn't ready to face. Matthew had tried everything to get the blond to accept that fact; perhaps this would be what finally drove the point home finally.

"Really? Are you sure Dom won't mind? I'd hate to mess up your plans."

"It'll be fine," Matthew said brightly, avoiding the true question there, "I'm sure he'll be fine with it."

I'll make it up to him, he promised himself.

"Well, that would be great!"

"Sure thing."

* * * * *

"Mr. Howard, can I get you anything?" the waiter asked Dominic, a sympathetic smile on his face.

"No," he answered quietly, "thanks."

Dominic wondered how many times his server had seen this sort of thing happen; it was probably a large number of times to be honest. This, though, was something that had never happened to Dominic, he'd never been stood up like this before. When his phone alerted him that he had an incoming text he was elated; at this point he just wanted to make sure nothing had happened to Matthew. The relief dissipated and was replaced with anger, however, as he read the message he'd just received.

"You can have your table back," he whispered sadly, walking out of the restaurant.

It was on the drive back to their flat that he finally broke down.

* * * * *

"Dom? You still up?" Matthew asked brightly, tossing his keys on the table. He forced a bit of cheeriness into his voice as he walked toward the couch.

"Yes."

The piano teacher swallowed nervously, eyes fixed on the back of Dominic's head. "About tonight, I'm sorry tha-"

"No you're not," Dominic said quietly.

"Yes, I-"

"You lied to me. You promised me one night, just one night for me to plead my case. One night for us to lay it all on the table, as it were, one night for me to try and figure out why you don't want to raise a child with me."

"Dom-"

"Is it me? Is the thought of spending a lifetime with me that awful to you?" Dominic turned around, standing up to look at Matthew with red-rimmed eyes. The desired effect was achieved; the brunet was instantly, irrevocably shamed over what he'd done. Matthew's chest heaved and he reached for Dominic, wincing when the chef made no move to come into his arms.

"No! God. No, Dom, I love you! You are everything to me. Everything."

"If you loved me you wouldn't have treated me this way. If you loved me, willful deception would never have crossed your mind. I can't even believe you," Dominic whispered, "you knew tonight was important to me."

"I texted-"

"Yeah."

"I-I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

"Look, Dom-"

"Let's recap. You would rather go with Chris on a delivery than go to dinner with me to discuss the possibility of us someday starting a family."

Matthew's insides churned; he swallowed. "Umm. It wasn't a delivery, it was a pick up-" The blond's head shot up angrily, causing Matthew to shrink back from him. "He didn't want to go alone. I didn't think you'd mind, we can talk about what you want to talk about any time," he mumbled.

Dominic's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "We can talk about it any time? Matthew, I had to schedule a fucking special dinner to get you to even consider talking to me about it! This has been going on now for months. Don't, for one minute, pretend as though you weren't avoiding it. Don't," he spat. "This whole situation is bad enough, don't disrespect me even more than you already have tonight by pulling that shit." He wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt, Matthew's own eyes filling with tears now.

"Dom, please-"

"Please what? What?"

"I just..." Dominic waited for the brunet to continue, but he never did. Instead, Matthew sat down on the couch, silent tears cascading down his cheeks. "I don't know, I don't know," he cried softly, rocking back and forth. He was lost in his own muddled mind, years of long-buried, unwelcome memories forcing their way to the surface when he wasn't prepared to face them. The brunet couldn't catch his breath, his shoulders shaking now with sobs. "I just... can't. I need more time, Dom." He wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands and looked up, but Dominic was at the front door, his overnight bag draped over his shoulder.

"It's not just about what you need. When you figure that out, I'll be back."

The tears came all night long for Matthew. He didn't sleep, instead opting to sit in front of Nova's tank but even then he found no solace; she remained in one of her tiny caves and refused to acknowledge his presence.