Proof of Fucking Ownership
Mar. 15th, 2015 07:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
million_starTitle: Proof of Fucking Ownership
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
millionstar
Pairing: Belldom, Non-AU
Summary: In which legal documents are presented to Dominic. Total crackfic.
Rating: R, simply for swearing.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Matt or Dom, no profit is being made and this is fiction.
Author’s Note: Just a drabble, in light of the photo of Matt and Dom eating together, and a request fromamusedinred for Matt to draw up official ownership documents regarding Dom’s ass. If you choose to read, thank you, so much. I really do appreciate it.
The restaurant was small and quiet, with an intimate vibe. It was the perfect setting for a pre-gig meal. Matthew and Dominic were happy to have a few moments to themselves on such an important, and busy day.
“Just a few hours to go. Are you nervous?”
Dominic considered Matthew’s question; he shrugged, a soft smile on his face as he pushed the food around his plate. “Maybe a little. It’s exciting, though. You?”
“Nervous as fuck. But it’s a good nervous, you know? I’m excited to get back on stage, it’s been too long.”
“I have something for you.”
“Not here, you arse,” Dominic glared, whispering as he glanced around the small restaurant. “Besides, we don’t have time for that.”
“For once,” Matthew laughed, “I don’t mean that.”
“Fair enough.”
Matthew handed Dominic a gold-colored, thick envelope. “Here.”
“What is it?”
“Open it, Einstein, and you’ll see.”
Dominic put down his glass of wine and did as he was instructed. He soon found himself holding what looked like a legal document.
Planet of EarthState of Cydonia*
*not really.
I, Matthew James Bellamy, resident of Earth, being of legal age, a sound fucking mind and all that other shit, do depose and proclaim for all the motherfucking world to know that:
Description Of Fucking Property
I am presently the owner of the posterior and lower region (heretofore known as “Ass” - sometimes referred to as loveseat, or sex muffins) of one Dominic James Howard, as recorded in the heralded annals of my admittedly glorious inner psyche.
Fucking Ownership
I fucking acquired ownership the Ass some years ago one night during a really hot rimjob. Fuck you, I don’t know the exact date. It doesn't matter - I’m not on trial here. For legal purposes, we can state the release date of the public declaration (i.e. the legal release of the lyric “You ass belongs to me now”) as being in the year of our Spacelord 2015, the 12th fucking day of March.
Fucking Possession
I have remained in continuous, open, peaceful (except for those times when Dom wanted to get kinky) and notorious (if you only knew) possession of the Ass since the aforementioned fucking date that I’m not precisely certain of but whatever. Note to self: this fucking legal shit is hard and confusing.
Lien and Fucking Encumbrances
I have no knowledge of any fucking facts which would indicate that my title or possession of the aforementioned Ass would be called into question or dispute. Furthermore, to my fucking knowledge, my title has never been disputed, rejected, or questioned, but if you think you’re hard enough, bring it on, my friend. I’d like to see you fucking try.
In continuation, no fucking claim or action has been brought to my attention which questions my title or right to possession of the Ass, and to my knowledge, no actions are pending against me in any court… although I do have that public nudity charge from last week. Whatever, it’s natural, okay?
Fucking Purpose
This affidavit is being made as proof to the world, indeed the fucking galaxy, that Dom’s ass belongs to me now. His heart, too. It’s mine, bitches. And I love him fiercely.
Legally yours, or whatfuckingever,
Matthew James Bellamy
15 March 2015
(I was going to ask Chris to witness and sign this document but I was afraid he’d suggest, yet again, that I need help. Maybe next time. But probably not.)
Dominic put the paper down on the table and threw his head back in an epic series of giggles. Matthew grinned, flushing a bit at Dominic’s reaction. A few of the other restaurant patrons were staring at them now, but neither of them noticed. They were in their own little world.
“I don’t think most legal documents use the word fucking as much as this one did.”
“Most legal documents aren't drawn up by me at three in the morning.”
“Jesus, Matt. You are fucking crazy. Are you going to tattoo your name on it or something next?”
“Don’t give me ideas.”
“Jesus. What the fuck am I going to do with you?” Dominic asked, folding the paper carefully and putting it back into the glided envelope.
“Just thought that tonight, on the eve of this new era, that I’d stake my claim. Just in case you’d,” Matthew twirled his fork in the air, a mischievous glint in his eye, “forgotten.”
Dominic reached for Matthew’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “Forgotten? No,” he whispered, “that’s never going to happen.”
“Good,” Matthew whispered, standing up for a kiss, “because the dick documents will be delivered to you next week.”
Author:
millionstarPairing: Belldom, Non-AU
Summary: In which legal documents are presented to Dominic. Total crackfic.
Rating: R, simply for swearing.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Matt or Dom, no profit is being made and this is fiction.
Author’s Note: Just a drabble, in light of the photo of Matt and Dom eating together, and a request from
amusedinred for Matt to draw up official ownership documents regarding Dom’s ass. If you choose to read, thank you, so much. I really do appreciate it.The restaurant was small and quiet, with an intimate vibe. It was the perfect setting for a pre-gig meal. Matthew and Dominic were happy to have a few moments to themselves on such an important, and busy day.
“Just a few hours to go. Are you nervous?”
Dominic considered Matthew’s question; he shrugged, a soft smile on his face as he pushed the food around his plate. “Maybe a little. It’s exciting, though. You?”
“Nervous as fuck. But it’s a good nervous, you know? I’m excited to get back on stage, it’s been too long.”
“I have something for you.”
“Not here, you arse,” Dominic glared, whispering as he glanced around the small restaurant. “Besides, we don’t have time for that.”
“For once,” Matthew laughed, “I don’t mean that.”
“Fair enough.”
Matthew handed Dominic a gold-colored, thick envelope. “Here.”
“What is it?”
“Open it, Einstein, and you’ll see.”
Dominic put down his glass of wine and did as he was instructed. He soon found himself holding what looked like a legal document.
Affidavit of Fucking Ownership
Planet of Earth
*not really.
I, Matthew James Bellamy, resident of Earth, being of legal age, a sound fucking mind and all that other shit, do depose and proclaim for all the motherfucking world to know that:
Description Of Fucking Property
I am presently the owner of the posterior and lower region (heretofore known as “Ass” - sometimes referred to as loveseat, or sex muffins) of one Dominic James Howard, as recorded in the heralded annals of my admittedly glorious inner psyche.
Fucking Ownership
I fucking acquired ownership the Ass some years ago one night during a really hot rimjob. Fuck you, I don’t know the exact date. It doesn't matter - I’m not on trial here. For legal purposes, we can state the release date of the public declaration (i.e. the legal release of the lyric “You ass belongs to me now”) as being in the year of our Spacelord 2015, the 12th fucking day of March.
Fucking Possession
I have remained in continuous, open, peaceful (except for those times when Dom wanted to get kinky) and notorious (if you only knew) possession of the Ass since the aforementioned fucking date that I’m not precisely certain of but whatever. Note to self: this fucking legal shit is hard and confusing.
Lien and Fucking Encumbrances
I have no knowledge of any fucking facts which would indicate that my title or possession of the aforementioned Ass would be called into question or dispute. Furthermore, to my fucking knowledge, my title has never been disputed, rejected, or questioned, but if you think you’re hard enough, bring it on, my friend. I’d like to see you fucking try.
In continuation, no fucking claim or action has been brought to my attention which questions my title or right to possession of the Ass, and to my knowledge, no actions are pending against me in any court… although I do have that public nudity charge from last week. Whatever, it’s natural, okay?
Fucking Purpose
This affidavit is being made as proof to the world, indeed the fucking galaxy, that Dom’s ass belongs to me now. His heart, too. It’s mine, bitches. And I love him fiercely.
Legally yours, or whatfuckingever,
Matthew James Bellamy
15 March 2015
(I was going to ask Chris to witness and sign this document but I was afraid he’d suggest, yet again, that I need help. Maybe next time. But probably not.)
Dominic put the paper down on the table and threw his head back in an epic series of giggles. Matthew grinned, flushing a bit at Dominic’s reaction. A few of the other restaurant patrons were staring at them now, but neither of them noticed. They were in their own little world.
“I don’t think most legal documents use the word fucking as much as this one did.”
“Most legal documents aren't drawn up by me at three in the morning.”
“Jesus, Matt. You are fucking crazy. Are you going to tattoo your name on it or something next?”
“Don’t give me ideas.”
“Jesus. What the fuck am I going to do with you?” Dominic asked, folding the paper carefully and putting it back into the glided envelope.
“Just thought that tonight, on the eve of this new era, that I’d stake my claim. Just in case you’d,” Matthew twirled his fork in the air, a mischievous glint in his eye, “forgotten.”
Dominic reached for Matthew’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “Forgotten? No,” he whispered, “that’s never going to happen.”
“Good,” Matthew whispered, standing up for a kiss, “because the dick documents will be delivered to you next week.”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2015-03-15 11:18 pm (UTC)Omg :')
no subject
Date: 2015-03-15 11:26 pm (UTC)"The dick documents" psml
no subject
Date: 2015-03-16 12:04 am (UTC)omfg I'm just not even I'm dead from the lolz D pls ily <33333
PS also if you don't write the dick document fic I will I swear to god
no subject
Date: 2015-03-16 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-16 02:31 am (UTC)ASSFFGHJKJHGDAA I'M SNORTING IN A PUBLIC CAFE ABD NOW I'M SNORTING BECAUSE THE ASS AT THE START OF MY KEYSMASH WAS TOTALLY ACCIDENTAL.
you are brilliant omg I love you
hilarious <333333333
no subject
Date: 2015-03-16 03:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-16 04:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-16 04:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-16 08:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-16 08:53 am (UTC)I fucking love you. Will you fucking marry me already???
no subject
Date: 2015-03-16 12:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-17 02:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-17 05:47 pm (UTC)"His heart, too. It’s mine, bitches. And I love him fiercely." aw, that's so cute :)
First that hilarious rude legal document and than this
" “Just thought that tonight, on the eve of this new era, that I’d stake my claim. Just in case you’d,” Matthew twirled his fork in the air, a mischievous glint in his eye, “forgotten.”
Dominic reached for Matthew’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “Forgotten? No,” he whispered, “that’s never going to happen.”
“Good,” Matthew whispered, standing up for a kiss, "
Only to be followed by this “because the dick documents will be delivered to you next week.”"
Brilliant.
no subject
Date: 2015-03-21 02:47 pm (UTC)This had me in stitches, also because I don't know if Matt would write that down, but I can definitely imagine him say all that and with a straight face hahaha
no subject
Date: 2015-03-21 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-23 11:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-03 09:07 pm (UTC)XD never stop writing D, you are wonderful!!
*hugs tightly* <33
no subject
Date: 2015-04-11 09:47 pm (UTC)