Lather, Rinse, Repeat

[million_star]

Title:  Lather, Rinse, Repeat
Author: millionstar
Pairing: Matthew/Dominic
Rating:   R
Here There Be: Language, name calling, implied sexytimes, abuse of hairstyles.
Characters: Matthew, Dominic.
Summary: A humble drabble in response to the hair!drama surrounding these nerds.
Disclaimer: I don't own Matt or Dom. Tbh, I'm grateful because, honestly, I couldn't afford all that hair product.
Beta/Support: As always, dolce_piccante. <3
Author's Note: For space_black_out, cos she's a doll and she requested this fic. <3 Thanks to nuraicha, mercury973, matturemuser and festive_tights for being lovely Twitter cheerleaders.  Y'all are the best... and you are to blame for this. xx



Dominic propped himself up on an elbow and bit back a laugh.

He couldn't help himself.

Next to him, on his own pillow, was one Matthew Bellamy.  Singer, professional man about town, and, currently, Grower Of Long Hair.

Grower of Long Hair That Was Not Speaking To Dominic, that is.

"Are you pouting in your sleep?"

"I'm not asleep."

A smile burst to life on Dominic's face.  He scratched his neck with two long fingers and stretched.   "Are you pouting in your awakened state?"

Matthew's lips twitched and his nose flared.

"Are you pouting just because you're a little pussy who can't take any criticism?"

"Fuck you."

"I only said that it might be time to consider a cut.  Look, you had to have known I'd have an... opinion on it."

Matthew, eyes now open, turned onto his back and crossed his arms in what was most decidedly a petulant manner.  "Ooh, Dom has an opinion on something.  Let me call a fucking press conference."

"You are a total dick.  A total dick with stupid hair.  A total dick with stupid hair and an unfortunate mole on his arse."

"And you're a drama queen who had a tragic run-in with a box of hair dye yesterday.  Oh my god, I've got it."  Matthew snapped his fingers.  "You put the hair dye through an Instagram filter to give it that super platinum, otherworldly glow!  Mystery solved, Chris is gonna owe me twenty pounds."

Dominic fumed.

"As for my hair?  I don't care what you think.  I like it."  To emphasize his point, Matthew flipped his hair back defiantly, the dark brown spilling against the white pillowcase.

Eyebrows raised, Dominic continued to grin, even though the fact that Matthew had crossed his arms had now blocked his nipples from Dominic's view had irritated him.  "Ooh, is this gonna be a new by-product of this current follicular freak show of yours?  The Matthew Bellamy Pout, Now With Added Hair Flipping Sass!  Oh, Matthew," he moaned orgasmically, "you're so fierce and sexy with your new, luxurious, manly mane of gravity defying hair."

Matthew sat up slowly in bed, a calm, deadly smirk firmly set onto his lips.  "Well, that's better than being Dominic 'Nuclear Fallout Hair' Howard.  You could fucking power all of London with the shine coming off your head, mate.  You could get a night job as a searchlight."

Dominic gasped (but it should be noted that he was glad that Matthew's nipples had now rejoined the party).  "What?  You wish you could look this good as a blond, you snaggletoothed bitch."

"Oh, yes, yes, Dom, I do.  You've found me out."  Matthew clasped his hands to his chest and fluttered his eyes in a dreamy fashion.  "'Dear Diary'," he sighed, "'maybe, just maybe, if I try really hard, someday I'll be as blond as Dom is, so I can blind innocent people who make the mistake of looking at me."

Dominic sat up and put his finger in Matthew's face.  "That chinbeard makes you look like a goddamned hobo, you know?"

Matthew shoved Dominic in the chest.  "Do you have a deep, emotional attachment to that dumb as fuck shark tooth necklace you always wear?  Do you fist it in your hand when you have a nice long wank?" he yelled.

When their lips crashed together, neither of them were particularly surprised.  Over the years, they'd learned one simple truth: a nice bitch session was always an incredibly effective aphrodisiac.

Their kiss deepened, the urgency multiplying with each nanosecond that passed between them.  Dominc's hands tangled in Matthew's longer hair, both of them moaning into the kiss.  Dominic lifted his mouth off, kissing a hot, fevered trail across Matthew's cheek, until he reached Matthew's earlobe, sucking it into his mouth.  Matthew groaned, his arms tightly around Dominic. 

"I'll suck your dick if you'll let me braid your hair afterward," Dominic whispered.

Ten minutes later, an extremely sated and satisfied Matthew fell asleep with a goofy smile on his face.

Ten minutes after that, Dominic giggled softly to himself as he braided seven separate sections of his lover's hair into adorable little plaits.

Six hours after that, when Matthew discovered that Dominic had posted photos of said braids to Twitter, he didn't even get angry.

The blowjob had totally been worth it.

Comments

[exogenitals.livejournal.com]

Oh this was really cute and funny..I really like the sassy bitchy belldom going on because I could see this happening....both of them trying to one up the other on who had the worst hair~

[millionstar.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for reading - I'm happy you liked it! :)

[mercury973.livejournal.com]

I totally lost it at "snaggletoothed bitch" Bah hahaha! Perfect as always.

[millionstar.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for reading, means a lot, J. xx

[matturemuser.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I laughed so much I could barely breathe!!! I'll be back to comment properly when the tears of laughter have cleared! xxx

[millionstar.livejournal.com]

<3

[tamar elmensdorp-lijzenga (from livejournal.com)]

Hahaha. That was so funny. I loved the bickering.

Are you pouting in your sleep?

I loved the making up.

I'll give you a blowjob if you let me braid your hair afterwards.

And it was sweet that Matt didn't even get angry when Dom posted the pics on twitter.

[millionstar.livejournal.com]

Thank you, so pleased you enjoyed it.

[space-black-out.livejournal.com]

Omg, omg, omg!!! See, I KNEW it would be perfect!!
This is the BEST thing to wake up to! A dedication from your wonderfulness *bows lowly before you* makes me grin like a loon!
And then this made me laugh so much, my mood is totally lifted! This is the ultimate Battle of the Hair fic, I love that they were in bed having their bitch fight, and I adore that it turned into sexy times - how could it not with these two!

And seriously D, I could imagine them hurling insults at each other so clearly, and this,

"Well, that's better than being Dominic 'Nuclear Fallout Hair' Howard. You could fucking power all of London with the shine coming off your head, mate. You could get a night job as a searchlight."

Best. Description. Ever. XD
Thank you x1000000 for doing this, you've made my day! Ilu muchly! <333

[millionstar.livejournal.com]

Hello there! I'm so pleased you liked it, L - thank you for reading and for being you. <333

[amusedinred]

HAHAHAHAHA omg this was amazing and hilarious. Loved it! <333

[millionstar.livejournal.com]

Thank you for choosing to read and for your kind comment.. <333

[matturemuser.livejournal.com]

OK! I'm back!

Firstly, let's just assume that I have quoted this in its entirety because it is absolutely brilliant! I've now read it four times just to be sure and was so excited by it that I failed to notice the dedication until the final reading. That was just icing on the cake! Hugs and kisses coming your way. xxxooo

Anyway, four readings and each and every one of them had me giggling like an idiot in the same places.

This one got me caught by my education assistant!

"Ooh, Dom has an opinion on something.  Let me call a fucking press conference."

She said to me, "Oh, I'm glad I'm not the only one who laughs out loud when they read their text messages."

"Oh yes," I said innocently, "I do it all the time." Because, you know, I wouldn't be sitting here reading fanfics from a site that's famous for erotic gay stories about my favourite band members. That shit would be really sick. And the people who write that stuff...what the hell is wrong with them? It's a real worry what some people have inside their heads, right?

Ahem, well, this one almost caused me to choke on my egg sandwich!

"Ooh, is this gonna be a new by-product of this current follicular freak show of yours?  The Matthew Bellamy Pout, Now With Added Hair Flipping Sass!  Oh, Matthew," he moaned orgasmically, "you're so fierce and sexy with your new, luxurious, manly mane of gravity defying hair."

I'm sitting here even laughing at the quote!!!

"What?  You wish you could look this good as a blond, you snaggletoothed bitch."

Rowwwwrrrrr ... claws out ladies!

Points for hobo. More points for Instagram filters.

Bonus points for Matt's nipples!

Now I'm just waiting for those Twitter pics of Matt's braids because this SOOOOOOO happened!

[millionstar.livejournal.com]

I don't even know what to say to this, I just am in awe that you are so kind and that you enjoyed it that much. Thank you darling. <3

[hannah-chapter.livejournal.com]

Have I mentioned how much I love your writing lately? Because I do.

[millionstar.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[easilyerased.livejournal.com]

Pair of goddamn fools they are. Don't know why I love them so much. Oh yeah, cos they're hot as hell. Damn them.

Loved this so much bb <3333

[dominic-james.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahaha that made me smile likr an idiot ! My brother is watching me like 'dafahk r u doin with ur fucked up smiley head' an just actually said "iPhones aren't that interesting you cunt, are you on shrooms?" Hahaha

Well done! *claps*
And, I just love their hair. I mean, Dom's cod have picked a less obvious colour (at least it isn't suddenly blue like my best friend's) but at least he has a haircut, Matt doesn't anymore Ha

[ashamedbliss.livejournal.com]

YE SYE S YES YES YES I LOVE ARGUMENTS THAT LEAD TO KISSES AND OH GOD YES THIS IS AMAZING

[shay_unknown]

omg this is wonderful. Made me smile. Thank you for sharing <3

[darthtofu.livejournal.com]

This is the BEST ever! I swear I say this every time I actually read something you write, but it's always the truth! I loooove you so much.

[festive-tights.livejournal.com]

WHAT THE HECK OMG I GOT A SHOUTOUT YO I DO NOT DESERVE THIS. Omg, this is my new favorite fic in the world. Made the mistake of reading it in public and I think the girl across from me is wondering what the hell is wrong because I just died laughing. OMG. I love you so much, seriously this made my day <3

[gf-futurism.livejournal.com]

YES YES YES

THEY ARE TOTAL BITCHES TOWARD EACH OTHER AND I LOVE IT <3

[chess-boxing.livejournal.com]

I giggled so hard, your boys are my total favourites XD snaggletoothed bitch

<333

[47eleven.livejournal.com]

Adorable!

[pittmuser.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!!! You are a national treasure! True words!

[ilurvebelldom.livejournal.com]

I love you D! I just really really love you because this is the best funniest sweetest most perfect thing I've read all month!!!!!

Dom's hair. Hobo Matt. Dom's necklace. Braids. Your brain is the most beautiful place EVER!!!!

[silentgods.livejournal.com]

this totally made my night!
that bitchiness is absolutely perfect, and the braiding bit killed me...
this is wonderfully written, you're absolutely perfect and i love you to bits, thank you so much for sharing! <333

[zetastation.livejournal.com]

"'Dear Diary'," he sighed, "'maybe, just maybe, if I try really hard, someday I'll be as blond as Dom is, so I can blind innocent people who make the mistake of looking at me." hahahahahahahahahhahahaahha

Amazing! Short and so funny! Love it! <3

[nuraicha.livejournal.com]

Matthew, eyes now open, turned onto his back and crossed his arms in what was most decidedly a petulant manner. "Ooh, Dom has an opinion on something. Let me call a fucking press conference." Matt is always a baby and I love him for that <3

"You put the hair dye through an Instagram filter to give it that super platinum, otherworldly glow! Mystery solved, Chris is gonna owe me twenty pounds." AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

"Ooh, is this gonna be a new by-product of this current follicular freak show of yours? The Matthew Bellamy Pout, Now With Added Hair Flipping Sass! Oh, Matthew," he moaned orgasmically, "you're so fierce and sexy with your new, luxurious, manly mane of gravity defying hair." OMG YES THIS IS TRUE

You could get a night job as a searchlight." OMG THIS IS HILARIOUS

"'Dear Diary'," he sighed, "'maybe, just maybe, if I try really hard, someday I'll be as blond as Dom is, so I can blind innocent people who make the mistake of looking at me." HANDS DOWN BEST SENTENCE EVER

"I'll suck your dick if you'll let me braid your hair afterward," Dominic whispered. yaaaaay \o/

Six hours after that, when Matthew discovered that Dominic had posted photos of said braids to Twitter, he didn't even get angry.
The blowjob had totally been worth it. Can't we have pics of the blowjow also? Pretty please?

This was hilarious!!!!! Honestly, you have a gift for comedy, D! Your fics are always so funny when it counts, especially your non-aus! You're incredible! I am so happy you wrote this and I'm sorry it took me so long to comment it! Also I am glad I helped somehow, this fic needed to be done and you did a wonderful job <3

[shuralove.livejournal.com]

You write the best banter. Fact. A complete and utter delight to read. ♥

[satisfyingbliss.livejournal.com]

EHEHEHEHEHEHEHE This was just so fun to read :') Everything they said to each other, I thought about it at least once. This was just perfect <3