million_star | The Pleasure Principle (Thirteen/?)

Title: The Pleasure Principle (Thirteen/?)
Author:

millionstar
Pairing: Belldom, AU
Rating: NC 17 overall, to be safe
Warnings: This part: language.
Summary: Our boys are porn stars. Wait, why are you laughing?
Feedback: Makes me happier than Dominic in a shop full of sparkly belts.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse, no offense intended, this never happened, and no money is being made. 'Tis fiction, after all. Silver Star Studios and its inhabitants, however, are all mine

Big thanks to the TPP team:

dolce_piccante,

frolicandfall and

myz_bee for their beta skills, feedback and general badass-ness. ;-)

Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve

I wake up the next morning feeling decidedly depressed for some reason. My thoughts which were at first centered around Dominic have now drifted to Tom and Carson, leaving me feeling confused and down. Dominic was right about something, though - until I talk to them I'm just going to continue to feel awful.

I turn over and notice that there's a bird sitting on my windowsill, singing sweetly. Eagerly I sit up and peer at it, realizing that it's a greenfinch. The fact that I could identify it after all these years makes me smile; my gran was an avid bird watcher. I used to sit on her knee in the garden when I was little on summer afternoons while she pointed out various breeds to me. The bird in question seems to have noticed my movements because it freezes suddenly and looks my way. A knock at my door frightens her away.

"Matthew, you up?" Tom calls from the hallway.

I swallow. I hate feeling nervous and uncertain around Tom like this. "Yeah, come in." He peeks his head in the door and smiles at me brightly.

"I made you some banana pancakes, you hungry?"

Tom... cooking? Are these pity pancakes? Pancakes of guilt? He's not known for his culinary skills, so I'm a little wary to say the least. The fact that he's felt the need to make me breakfast makes me think that he is indeed feeling guilty aboout something.

Or maybe he's just trying to be a good friend, Matthew.

I'm so confused.

I nod, but I don't meet his eyes. "Let me get dressed, yeah?"

I get out of bed and reach for my robe, pausing when I hear Tom's mobile ringing. He answers with a "hello", but then his voice drops to a whisper that I can't make out as well. It must be Carson.

Stop trying to eavesdrop on him. You're making a fool of yourself.

In just a couple minutes he's standing in front of my door again.

"Hey, it's on the table, ok? I gotta dash, talk to you later!"

"Wait!" I sprint to the door in my robe and am greeted by Tom's smiling face. "I meant to ask, what did you do last night?"

Please don't lie please don't lie.

"I ran a couple errands for mum, you know how it is," he says quickly. "Ah. Sorry, Matthew," he frowns. "I didn't mean... shit."

He knows full well I don't know how it is to have a mother, well, I thought he did.

"So that's all you did last night?"

He nods. But he doesn't make eye contact with me.

"Yeah? Are you alright?"

I nod, making my way to the bathroom. "I'm fine. Don't let me keep you."

He opens his mouth to speak, but seems to think better of it and sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "Talk to you tonight, okay?"

I don't answer him as I close the door behind me. I hop in the shower quickly and the feel of the water coursing across my body relaxes me. I'm not due at the studio today so I shrug into an old pair of jeans and my favorite Manic Street Preachers t-shirt once I'm done and head to the kitchen.

Now, I wish I could tell you that Tom's attempt at banana pancakes was a successful one... but, well, I can't. But I love him for trying, despite the fact that they're somehow burnt on the edges and runny in the middle. I'm going to have to help him work on that sometime. I feel guilty tossing them away though, so I force them down. It takes some effort, but I manage to finish them, brushing my teeth a second time once I'm done to get the taste out of my mouth. The flat is empty and quiet and part of me wants to simply go back to bed. However, it's a beautiful June morning, so I decide to do something I haven't done for a few weeks, grabbing a bottle of water as I head out the door.

She loved dahlias, so I'm pleased that the florist down the street has some in stock. I purchase a wrapped bouquet and for good measure add a couple stems of hydrangea and a single snapdragon as well. The walk to the cemetery doesn't take long and before I know it I find myself sitting down on the grass.

The stone vase that sits on her grave needs cleaning out. Stray blades of grass and dead insects litter the inside of it. Once it's cleaned out I pour fresh water into it and place the flowers inside it. I'm not a flower arranger, and I think anyone looking at this would agree, but it's the best I can do. Something tells me that she'd be okay with it.

Before I can stop myself the words come tumbling out.

"I miss you, Gran."

"I'm sorry it's been so long since my last visit."

And then it all comes out. My days housesitting at the mansion, Carson and Tom... and of course, Dominic. Thoughts of that night at the mansion come to mind suddenly, the hurt and anger I remembered coming to the surface again. But he was so different last night.

"I think you'd like him. Although," I pause, my fingertips pinching at the stray blades of grass, "to be fair, there's still alot I don't know about him. But you always used to tell me to give people a chance, and I think he's worth taking a chance on."

I think. No, I know.

"Let's see, what else? Mort and Lou are still doing well; they're such wonderful people. I wish you could have met the two of them, they're," I laugh, "well, they're interesting, to say the least."

I never know what to expect when I come here like this. Sometimes there are tears, sometimes anger, and always a sense of sadness that she was taken from me the way she was. Today, though, is one of those rare days where all I feel is a sense of being blessed that I had her in my life at all. It's a bittersweet feeling, I suppose, but today I'll take it.

Sometimes I can remember the night they were killed, but only vaguely. I was so young when they died that it's hard to remember them at all. Luckily Gran was there to take me in, an only child, just six years old. She was all I ever needed, though, and without her who knows where I would have ended up?

I owe her everything, because the eleven years I had with her shaped me into the man I am today. And when I look in the mirror I'm happy with the person I am, with no shame or fear in regards to the way I live my life. That alone is worth... so much that I can't even define it in mere words. She was supportive to a fault, just as a parent figure is supposed to be. I remember the night I came out to her. I was so scared that she might reject me, but she was nothing but supportive and loving towards me. I can still hear her words that night. She smiled and pulled me close, drying my tears with a sweet smile.

"My Matthew, there's nothing you could ever do that would lessen my love for you. Remember that."

I smile, smoothing the grass in front of her stone. "I do remember. I always will."

The longer I sit here the more I realize that she would tell me to stop feeling so sorry for myself and go talk to Carson or Tom. She'd be right, too. I stand and brush the dirt from my jeans before leaning down to place a kiss to the tombstone.

"Love you," I whisper. "And thank you, Gran." My throat tightens a little as I walk away but I smile as a starling lands on a bench I'm approacing. Starlings were one of her favorite birds.

Coincidence? Probably. But it made my day.

I whip out my mobile and dial Tom's number as I exit the cemetery.

"Yes, admiral?" he answers, stifling a giggle, and I can actually see him mock saluting me on the other end of the line.

"As you were, soldier," I shoot back. "What's going on?"

"Fuck all, was just thinking about the costume party and looking at some options. What about you," he asks, "you seemed quiet this morning. I was a little worried."

"Nothing to worry about," I answer honestly. "But I wanted to talk to you if that's okay?"

"Course it is! Where are you?"

"I'm actually outside McKay's. You nearby?"

"Yeah!" he exclaims. "Go on in and grab us a spot and I'll be there in a few."

McKay's is our local pub and when I walk inside the lady behind the bar winks at me.

"Hello gorgeous, how's tricks?"

"Mary, you minx," I wink back, "I should be asking you that I think!"

"If only, Matthew,"she sighs, running one hand through her gray hair. "Bloody husband wouldn't know a trick if it bit him in the arse!"

"Hey!" a voice calls out from the kitchen, "I heard that, woman!"

She gives me two beers and I giggle, making my way to a booth as they continue to bicker. I haven't been sitting there for long when I notice a guy at the bar is staring at me. At first I tried to shrug it off, but minutes pass and he just keeps looking at me; it's starting to creep me out a little.

He finally jumps off his stool and makes his way towards me nervously. "I don't mean to stare, I apologize, but I think I know you from somewhere."

Where the hell are you, Tom?

His face lights up just then. "Holy shit! I remember now! You were in that film I saw online not long ago - The Empire Strikes Bareback!"

Wow. Dude recognized me. That's never happened before.

I smile. "Yeah, that was me, but I only had a bit part, I can't believe you remembered me!"

His eyes sweep across my body. "Believe me, I remember you," he purrs.

I blush. Furiously.

"Do you know the blonde who played Luke Cockwalker in that one? Is he here too?" he continues excitedly, peering around the corner.

"Yes, I know him," I laugh, "and no, he's not here with me, sorry."

The young man frowns and hangs his head a little as he walks away. Apparently I wasn't the one he was looking for! I wonder how Dominic would have handled something like that, would he have been Smug Porn Star Dominic or Bashful Adorable Dominic? I break out laughing as I watch him leave and Tom come in.

He raises one eyebrow at me as he sits down. "What's up? That's some scary laughter you've got going on there, Matthew."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I reply, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. He merely raises an eyebrow at me and takes a sip from his beer before speaking.

"I'm glad you called me to talk. There's something I've been meaning to tell you, actually," he says softly. "And I hope you don't mind, but I asked someone to join us, if that's okay?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, just as I spy Carson entering the pub. I have to smile to myself when I see him come in and sit down next to Tom. I mean, you would have too if you'd seen the way they were looking at each other. Carson grabs Tom's hand and puts them, joined, on the table.

"I see," I smile softly.

"I don't even know why we didn't tell you right away," Tom begins.

"It just snowballed and became this big, silly secret," Carson babbles.

They're quite the sight, eyes wide, breath coming quickly, lips snagged firmly between teeth. It's so sweet that I can't even stand it, really and in that instant any hurt I had been feeling toward them dissolves.

"Are you angry?" Tom asks quietly.

"No, not at all," I assure him. "But... did you think I wouldn't approve?" I ask honestly. "You know I love you both, don't you?"

Carson sighs. "Like I said, it wasn't anything intentional, really. We were put together for one of Tom's first SS screen tests and we hit it off, I think that was while you were housesitting for Mort actually?" He glances at Tom who nods in agreement.

"I started to tell you the night that you told me about what happened with Dominic at the mansion," Tom goes on, "but you were pretty upset that night so I just listened to you, because I was worried about you. Days passed and then... I don't know! We've not seen each other much lately, you have to admit that, and I told Carson that I wanted to tell you myself. I should have made the time to do it before now." He hangs his head and swallows nervously, Carson smoothing his hair softly.

"I think it's fantastic," I say. Suddenly nothing matters to me but their happiness. "I really do. You two make a great couple. But, if either one of you hurts the other I'll have your balls in a vice, you do realize that, yeah?" I say sweetly.

"Ha!" Carson booms. "They don't make a vice big enough to hold mine."

The three of us cackle loudly, the afternoon lunch crowd staring at us with confused looks on their faces. We spend the rest of our lunch eating and talking and laughing, like mates do. It feels nice to me to have things back to normal when it comes to these two., because I do love them both. I pay the bill when it comes, much to Tom's & Carson's chagrin.

"Let me," I insist, "after all, this is a celebration of sorts, yeah?" Once we're ready to leave I turn back to them. "There is one thing you can do to pay me back, though."

They both look at me quizically.

"Not on the couch again, yeah? That thing's hard to clean," I wink as I walk away, grinning.

I'm certain I heard Tom spit out the last sip of beer he had just taken.

He'll be fine, though.

Current Mood: anxious

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

ophelia1971.livejournal.com

What a touching chapter - all of it. From Matt's memory of his Gran, to the birds, to his chat with Tom and Carson. The whole thing made me sigh contently.

Suddenly nothing matters to me but their happiness. - that is such a wonderful attitude. Well done, Matt. *hugs*

And that last jab about the couch? Priceless.

Great work, as usual D! <3 xxxx

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The Pleasure Principle (Thirteen/?)

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