million_star | Seventeen Steps - Three Keys (Two/?) (Reply)

Title: Seventeen Steps - Three Keys (Two/?)

Author:

Pairing: Belldom, AU
Summary: Sequel. A look at the SS boys a few years down the road, as they prepare to take the biggest step of all.

Rating: R

Warnings: Angst

Feedback: Is always appreciated, but please, just enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Matt or Dom, no profit is being made and this is fiction.

Beta/Support: As always,

dolce_piccante. Without her, this fic wouldn't exist, end of. <3

Author's Note: No excuse for the delay between updates, but for those of you who still remember this series, I hope you enjoy.

Prologue | One

The cat and the owner stared each other down.

The owner narrowed his eyes.

The cat blinked.

"Okay, look, you," George Bellamy said in a quiet voice. "We are going to have to come to an agreement of sorts here, yes? Let's approach this rationally." He crossed the room and sat down on the foot of the twin sized bed he called his own, and regarded the cat, who was laying in the middle of his pillow.

He remembered the day last year that Matthew had called him to ask for a favor. He and Dominic had found the stray cat behind their apartment building and couldn't keep it for themselves. It had been pouring rain and Matthew had decided that he simply had to find it a home as soon as possible. Seeing as how their building didn't allow cats as pets, George found himself opening his door one July evening to become the adoptive father to an orange tabby cat.

George's days as a history scholar came back to him and in that moment the cat had been dubbed Xerxes. He never forgot how pleased Matthew looked when he agreed to give the poor creature a home.

It was his life's work, what was left of it, after all, to do anything and everything he could to make up for a lifetime of mistakes to his son. He wanted nothing more than to put a smile on Matthew's face, as often as he could.

"This is my bed. We go through this every night, Xerxes, do we not?"

Xerxes purred. His tail wagged slowly, elegantly.

"You have a bed right here," George pointed to the cat bed that he paid an outrageous amount of money for at the pet store and sighed, "so why do you insist on sleeping on my pillow?"

Before Xerxes could offer up a reply, George's attention was turned to a frantic knocking on his front door. He turned to the cat as he exited the room.

"This isn't over."

Xerxes merely purred.

By the time George made it to the door, the knocking had turned into full-on pounding. He opened the door and gasped.

"Matthew?"

George was astounded at how his son looked. Gone was any hint of the youthful vigor and enthusiasm that Matthew typically exuded on any given day. His eyes were sunk in, and upon closer inspection, red-rimmed. He was dressed in an jeans and an old t-shirt, one much too thin for such a frigid day. Oddest of all was that he was alone, Dominic nowhere in sight.

"Matthew, where's your coat? It's freezing out-"

"Can I come in?"

"Of course, forgive me, come in. Sit down, can I get you anything?" He sat down on his couch.

"Why did you leave?"

George flinched, visibly.

"I know, we've talked about it and I know, we're getting past it but I need your help, I just need to know what it was about me that made you not want to be a part of my life."

"Matthew-"

Matthew sank to his knees in front of his father, eyes glistening. "It's okay. We've made progress and I'm not here to undo it, I just need to know so that I-" He paused, glancing around as though he didn't know how to proceed. The older man bit his lip, confused and growing ever more alarmed with each moment that passed. "I need to know, okay? Please."

George sat up and reached out, putting one hand on his son's shoulder. "Where's Dominic, Matthew?"

"He's gone."

"What? Gone where?"

"He left me. Three days ago," Matthew continued, nervously gnawing his thumbnail.

George was stunned beyond words. He had only been back in Matthew's life for three years or so, and in that time he had learned some certain truths about his son, the main one being that the love Matthew and Dominic shared was like something out of a fairy tale. It was to be revered and cherished, and George was incredibly thankful that his son had managed to find it so completely.

It was for that reason that he was so shocked; something, clearly, was very wrong.

"That's it, don't you see, that's why I need to know, so I can fix this." He began to rock back and forth on his knees, George able to feel Matthew's shoulder trembling beneath his touch.

"Matthew, listen to me-"

"I need to know because I need to know if I will do it too if we decide to raise a child together," Matthew finished, gasping through a fresh onslaught of tears. They were more than just tears, they were the wracked sobs of someone who was completely at their end, of someone devoid of hope of any kind. It was a sound that George knew he would never be able to forget.

Worst of all was the realization that it was his own behavior, from so many years ago, that had led his son to this conclusion. Matthew was convinced that if he were to become a father he would repeat the mistakes that his own had committed. That was a truth that was bitterly hard to swallow, and George knew that he only had one chance to right this particular misstep.

"Oh, Matthew," George gasped, "no, no, no, of course not. Don't say that, don't even think it."

"What if it's in me, though? What if I won't be able to stop myself? What if I'm just not cut out for fatherhood?"

"I have seen you with Christopher's children too many times, and I know first hand that you have a knack with them. They flock to you. Hell, Matthew, you've made it your life's work to teach piano to children. Don't you see, you already have that inherent love and affection in your heart."

"What if I lose it?"

"Matthew, I was a coward, the worst kind of coward. But don't think for a moment that it's something you have inherited. Please don't think that. This won't happen to you and Dominic. It won't."

"How do you know that? How can you be sure?"

"You and Dominic have the thing your mother and I were lacking, son. You two have it in spades, you have each other."

"What do you mean?"

"We tried, your mother and I, but," George ran his hands through his grey hair, "it just went so wrong, so quickly. Then your mother got pregnant and we thought perhaps that could save things, maybe we could make it work, and that was the hardest lesson I ever learned - that love is not something you can force. It either exists, or it doesn't."

"Did you ever love each other?" Matthew asked.

"We were best friends growing up. Neither of us had a good home life, and getting married seemed like a good escape, a good opportunity to start a life of our own. But, when you're eighteen and impulsive you don't always think things through rationally. To answer your question, we loved each other very, very much... but we weren't in love with each other. That was the difference."

Matthew slumped against the bottom of the couch, his back against his father's knee. He remained silent, George continuing to speak as though a dam had burst, as though he needed to confess the things that had remained unspoken between them for so long.

"Matthew, I can't guarantee you that everything in the life you and Dominic are destined to live together will be perfect, but I think that the kind of love you two share gives you the greatest of advantages over everyone else. You're very blessed, and I'm thankful for that."

"I just... when he first mentioned the possibility of us starting a family, I froze. It was," Matthew swallowed, wiping his eyes, "all I could think about was failing our son or daughter and, dad, it just terrified me more than anything else in this life ever has."

George froze at Matthew's use of 'dad'. That was the first time Matthew had used it since he had returned into his life. He squeezed Matthew's shoulder.

"And I was horrible to Dom. Horrible. He kept trying to get me to talk about it with him, to start the adoption process and all I did was seek out ways to not think about it at all. I lied to him, started to avoid him. I was just so scared of facing it."

"Does Dominic know how you were feeling, though? Did you tell him what you've just told me?"

"No," Matthew admitted, "I never let it get that far."

"Don't you think you should talk to him now, though?"

"I don't think he wants to talk to me right now."

"I can't imagine that ever being the case, Matthew," George replied, "that young man adores you, and while you are experiencing a rough spot right now, you two can recover from this. You both need to communicate what you are feeling. I wish that was something I had been better at when I was your age, myself. If I had been, things would have turned out much differently."

They fell silent, content to process what had just happened between them. After a while Matthew spoke.

"We waited twenty six years to have our first real father-son talk," he commented.

George considered this, then nodded. "Looks like we did. How'd I do?"

Matthew nodded. "You did great."

"When did you eat last?"

Matthew looked up and squinted. "Not sure."

"That won't do," his father replied. With that, George put on his glasses and went in search of the few restaurant delivery menus he had in his kitchen.

Matthew watched him walk away, and for the first time in his life he felt a true and real, genuine affection for the older man. He understood his father a little better now, and while nothing could erase the pain that his leaving caused Matthew when he was younger, Matthew also realized that nobody was perfect. Sometimes all you can do is forgive and move on and try to make a life out of what you've been given.

Matthew had certainly been given a hell of a lot to work with, that much he knew for certain.

"I'm ordering Chinese, the place on the corner delivers until midnight. Any requests?"

"Anything will be fine, thank you," Matthew whispered. He found himself wondering what kind of grandfather George would be, how he would look with a baby in his arms... how he would look with his and Dominic's baby in his arms.

For the first time in three days, the corners of Matthew's lips turned up. It was ever so slight and faint, but it happened nonetheless. As if by fate, his mobile alerted him of an incoming text.

It was from Dominic.

~Hi.

Matthew answered in kind.

~Hey.

He bit his lip, tapping his pinky against his phone.

~It's late. I'm home, where are you?

Matthew's pulse quickened and his mouth went dry. He could barely control his shaking hands as he replied. He also had no idea that his father was watching the entire exchange.

~I'm at dad's. Had to get out. It's not home if you're not there.

The reply was instantaneous.

~I'm here now. I miss you. Come home to me, love.

Matthew's hand flew to his mouth, the reflexive action mirroring his relief. He replied:

~Leaving now

and stood shakily. He wiped his eyes and ran his hands through his hair as he headed for the front door.

"Um, about that Chinese-"

His father was staring at him, a smile on his face as though he knew precisely what had just transpired. "I never placed the call," he smiled, placing the phone back on the receiver. "Go, go home. But promise me that you'll eat something before you go to bed?"

"I will."

"Give Dominic my best. And, keep me posted on what happens, yes?"

"Thank you," Matthew said suddenly, pulling his father into a hug. "Thank you, dad."

George blinked back tears, hugging his son harder with each moment that passed. "Don't thank me. Just be happy."

Once he had locked up the house, George made his way back to the bedroom and crossed his arms, locking eyes with Xerxes yet again.

"Now. Where were we?"

A few miles away Matthew burst into his flat and fell straight into the arms of the most important person in his world. More tears were shed, but this time they were tears of happiness, of relief that they were here together.

Dominic held him close as they sank to the floor in each others' arms, Dominic shedding a few tears of his own. He kissed Matthew's hair, his ear, his neck, but most of all he held on for dear life, as though he never intended to let Matthew slip away from his grasp.

"Don't ever leave me again," Matthew pleaded, cupping Dominic's face in his hands, their foreheads resting together. He sniffled quite adorably.

Dominic shook his head, trembling. "No, love. Never again. Never. I love you too much." He pecked Matthew's lips softly. "I'm so sorry. I was impatient, and-"

"No, no! I'm the one who is sorry. I, I think I'm ready to talk about it. Dad helped me figure some things out."

Dominic smiled softly; the thought that Matthew had sought out his father for advice made him very happy. He hoped it meant that the two of them could grow even closer with time. He kissed Matthew again. "Then, we're both sorry, and we can move on."

"I-"

"Tomorrow," Dominic interrupted, his thumbs caressing Matthew's cheekbones. "Let's talk about it tomorrow. We have all the time in the world. Please?"

Matthew was surprised. "Oh?"

"If you don't take me to bed and make love to me immediately I'm gonna lose my fucking mind," he breathed. "I've nearly gone mad missing you."

They never made it to the bed, instead choosing to indulge in their reunion right there on the floor in front of Nova's tank. Later Matthew would be aghast that they'd exposed her to such a thing, but Dominic merely giggled and kissed Matthew's embarrassment away. They eventually ended up in bed, sharing a bacon and cheese omelet that Dominic whipped up for them in record time while Matthew showered.

Matthew fell asleep first, giving Dominic time to hold him and study him through his barely-there snores. Dominic couldn't help but whisper a prayer of thanks that they'd managed to navigate this particular issue successfully in the end. Paige had also helped Dominic figure quite a few things out, and he was eager to compare her notes to George's.

It occurred to Dominic in that moment just how lucky he and Matthew were; they were surrounded by people who loved them and would look out for them always. He knew that they had a long way to go still, but he also knew that as long as they stuck together, they could get there.

He fell asleep with Matthew gathered tightly to his chest, his lips pressed against ebony hair.

All the while, Nova swam fluidly through her tank for the first time in days, because even she knew that finally, all had been set right.